Polygamy for Job Creators Now!!!

Why should this great nation’s sainted Job Creators be restricted to marrying only one woman? Is not polygamy a voluntary arrangement? Why should women be unfairly restricted from marrying whoever they want? That’s the kind of thing the Taliban does.

Imagine the children of Joe the Factory Worker. Joe used to work in an Ohio lightbulb factory which was sent to China. Joe is now unemployed, and his poor children subsist on the meager scraps provided by food stamps. Joe’s wife is angry that her husband cannot give her and her children a better life. Why can’t a Job Creator like Jeff Immelt come in and marry-up a few of these factory widows? Think of the children.

Isn’t the solution to our nation’s growing income-inequality problem to allow Job Creators to raise women and children out of poverty? To share the wealth via polygamy?

Well, even if that were the solution, it isn’t going to happen because Joe is a voter. And Joe is not about to entertain the idea of the rich guys hogging up all the women.

And nobody in America thinks that is the least bit unusual. It is so accepted that it is rarely even discussed. The idea of restricting the behavior of oligarchs is not controversial to anyone, with the exception of a few Mormons perhaps.

What about dueling? Why do we no longer allow gentlemen in top hats to resolve their differences with pistols at 40 paces?

How about slavery? Why can’t rich guys own poor guys anymore? Why can’t Jeff Immelt fly to Sudan, buy a few dozen slaves for a $50 a head (2009 prices), bring them back to the USA, and put them to work in the big house? Surely that would be a better life for them, no?

The Republicans act like Job Creators should have no restrictions on their behavior at all. But they do have restrictions, and the nation is better for it.

During the 1950s, the top tax rate was 91% – even during the administration of Republican President Dwight Eisenhower. While that rate sounds like it would be economically catastrophic, it was no such thing back then. The USA did just fine.

A 91% rate seems like ruthless treatment of our oligarchs. However, the oligarchs are every bit as ruthless when they move Joe the Factory Worker’s job to China, are they not? When it comes to destroying the livelihoods of millions of Americans, the oligarchs don’t even blink.

Note to oligarchs: Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Note: If you were yelling at the screen that it was Jeff Immelt who sent Joe the Factory Worker’s job to China in the first place, you get a gold start on your paper. Tell your mom that I said it was okay.

Note: I used three exclamation points in the title of this post. If you don’t like it, just try and stop me. I will see you burn in hell with multiple dueling-pistol wounds before I am restricted to only one exclamation point!!!