Military Build-Up on Miami Beach

Miami Beach has been home to Urban Beach Week since Freaknik got kicked out of Atlanta about 15 years ago. The annual hip-hop event brings about 300,000 black people to the city, terrifying the locals, many of whom bug out for the weekend.

But it’s not just Miami Beach residents who flee. A few years ago, I had jury duty the Tuesday after Memorial Day. I left early because I didn’t know how the rush-hour traffic would be in downtown Miami since I work at home. But when I got there, I was shocked to see that there was no traffic at all. No cars, no people; like the place had been neutron-bombed. I’ve never seen anything like it. Miami is a few miles away from Miami Beach, across Biscayne Bay, but people still bugged out, and stayed out, even after the hip-hop crowd had gone home.

After a shooting incident a few years ago, Miami Beach has increased surveillance to the point where we now operate a mini police-state for the weekend. And while arrests are down, so are the crowds. It appears that the authorities are squeezing out the event just like they did in Atlanta. Of course, no official could ever say that, but it may indeed be the case.

On the other hand, the hotels here are charging more for rooms this weekend than any other city in the country except New York City. So, while the event may frighten locals, it doesn’t seem to be deterring tourists from Europe, Asia, Latin America, etc. And since the hotels purchase all the politicians, laws to tamp down the mayhem don’t stand much of a chance of passing. The hotels have been making record profits (at least until Zika showed up last year).

But this year, things are going to a whole other level. There will be an Air Show on Saturday and Sunday. Right on the beach. (In fact, the grandstand will be right across the street from the construction balloon I wrote about in my previous post.) As the hip-hop crowd cavorts on the beach, they will be buzzed by low-flying military aircraft: attack choppers, fighter jets, giant bombers, etc.

Now I expect the vast majority of the crowd will enjoy the show as much as I will. But who knows? Maybe the criminal element will take offense. Maybe they will be tempted take a shot at something. After all, a B-52 flying 100 feet above your head is literally bigger than the proverbial side-of-a-barn. Not only that, but the Customs Department will be putting on a “drug interdiction” demonstration. (See the show agenda.) So, both sides of the drug war will be represented. Maybe not the best idea.

The air show is expected to draw a family-friendly crowd. Of course, anybody who brings their children to Miami Beach during Urban Beach Week should get a visit from child services. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a weak turnout. But of the people who do come, a lot of them might be wearing their MAGA hats left over from the election. And so, the potential for a clash that dwarfs the fisticuffs at Berkeley is a risk.

Ideally, everybody will play nice. The Air Show will take place during the day while the gang-bangers are sleeping off their hangovers, and the Trump voters will be gone by time they wake up.

It might be good to have the troops on hand in case George Soros gives the order to burn the city, which he is somehow allowed to do.

Another thing to consider is that this might be none-of-the-above. That the Pentagon looks at this as a prime recruiting location, with a huge pool of young men to dazzle with their flying hot-rods.

And don’t bother watching the Miami Herald for news updates. They don’t consider Urban Beach Week to be an important story. Remember the Miami Zombie from a few Memorial Days ago? He ate that guy’s face off right on the sidewalk in front of the Herald, and they didn’t even do a story on it. Worst newspaper ever.

Here is what Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew fame had to say about the air show. He grew up here.

Here is a live web cam at the News Cafe on Ocean Drive.

Here’s some recent mayhem at 9th & Ocean:

So, that time I got to jury duty early… They play movies in the jury room as you wait to be called. But if you get there very early they play a video about the criminal justice system. And it’s all about how the Native Americans who used to live here were subdued, and celebrates how the state was scrubbed clean of injins, who wouldn’t quit scalping all the white settlers. It’s surprisingly politically incorrect.

Further reading: The Seminole Wars.

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