But Duck Dynasty *is* Gay Friendly

In all the talk about the Duck Dynasty publicity stunt, I didn’t hear anybody mentioning that the star of the show, Uncle Si, is a very effeminate man. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.

If memory serves, Uncle Si has stated, in at least two episodes, that he was contemplating “getting in touch with his feminine side.” According to my redneck sources, that is the equivalent of coming out of the closet down at the trailer park. In this clip, we see Uncle Si donning lipstick, nail polish, a tiara, and a feather boa:

In the next clip, we see Uncle Si teaching the ladies how to sew. While I am sure that there are plenty of heterosexual men who can work a sewing machine, I have never met one of them. And Uncle Si can sew like a Saipan sweatshop girl:

Uncle Si is a married man, but what with all the “beards” on the show, who knows?

Speaking of beards, that’s why I won’t be watching the new season. I watched the series a few months ago to see why it was so popular. But the beards are visually revolting, as well as the celebration of rancid body odor. If you do watch, make sure not eat for a couple of hours beforehand. It’s ironic that the Robertsons constantly make snarky remarks about the “yuppies” while they themselves are a bunch of conformist fashionistas who look like a bunch of clones – every man with a beard, camo, and B.O.

Another thing that really annoys me is Willie’s desecration of the American Flag. Back in the day, he would have been beaten senseless by patriotic bikers for sopping up his greasy hair with the flag. How is it possible that looking like a dirty hippie has become fashionable among rednecks?

Willie Robertson

Willie Robertson, Duck Commander CEO

The show really isn’t very compelling. Ducky Dynasty is like The Beverly Hillbillies without Ellie May – with worse acting, and worse writing.

Ellie May Clampett

Ellie May Clampett

And if you want to see real men battle the elements, you’ll be better off with “Alaska, the Last Frontier” which is the ranch where singer Jewel Kilcher grew up. The Robertsons shoot birds and squirrels in their swamp. The Kilchers shoot bears and wolves in Alaska’s majesty.

A lot of Duck Dynasty fans are libertarian/anarchist/Tea Party types who want to abolish the federal government. But if it weren’t for Uncle Sam’s patent laws protecting Phil Robertson’s invention from competition, there probably never would have been a Duck Commander fortune, and no hit TV show – let alone trophy wives for the boys.