Browns fans rejoice! A third Golden Age is upon us! While it is still possible that the Browns will cuck-out and give Odell Beckham, Jr. another chance to punch them in the balls, it looks like the team will finally shake off this evil albatross.
And we know what happens next. We know from history that when OBJ leaves the field, Baker Mayfield spreads his wings and soars to elite status. Not even the hardest of hard core OBJ cultists will deny it anymore. We have the receipts.
Remember the Baker Mayfield of the second half of 2020? Yeah, that guy. He’s coming back! Holy shit! It’s really happening! It’s too bad this third Golden Age will kick off on the road, but Cincinnati is a great place for the blessed event since that’s where Golden Age II began last year.
Golden Age I – 2018 – Baker’s rookie year. OBJ still on Giants.
Dark Age I – 2019 – Browns Regress After OBJ joins the team.
Golden Age II – 2020 – Week 7 – OBJ is injured; Baker spreads his wings.
Dark Age II – 2021 – Week 3 – OBJ returns and Browns promptly drop into last place.
Golden Age III – 2021 – Week 9 – OBJ gifts the Browns with freedom from himself.
The Browns have a tough schedule ahead, but like Lieutenant Commander Worf used to say on the eve of a suicide mission:
It. Will. Be. Glorious!
Note: Rashard Higgins liked, then unliked OBJ’s attack-video on Baker. Perhaps he didn’t realize what it was at first. Maybe he thought that the theme of “OBJ is always open” was just giving accolades to his teammate. Then when he saw the savage attack on his QB in the comments, he got the hell outta there.
Note: Pete Smith of Sports Illustrated shares my view in: “Browns Offense is ‘Free’: What that Means and where they can go.” However, he writes: “The offense is not going to magically improve as a result of Beckham being out of the way…” I won’t dispute that, but it’s going to feel like magic.
Note: The wailing and gnashing of teeth amongst OBJ thralls is fucking hilarious. For a sample of such hysteria, listen to this podcast.
Note: To idiot teams thinking about signing Odell: keep in mind that OBJ was the most targeted receiver on the squad when he accused his QB of deliberately not throwing him the ball. Even if you threw him the ball on every passing down, he wouldn’t be satisfied. He would go on to demand the ball on rushing downs too! OBJ is football poison! Imbibe at your peril. “If I were you I’d take precautions:”